Photographer : Larry F.E.Y Brands Article by Emma Williams
"Breaking up is hard. You may feel sad, hurt, angry, and confused simultaneously. This mix of emotions is what we call grief. Everyone experiences it differently."
However, you must feel those emotions. Don’t pretend everything's okay. You can ask for help from friends or professionals. With time and self-care, things will start to get better. Remember that you're not alone in feeling this way; healing takes time.
Vanessa Valente, a popular participant in Temptation Island season 5, has gone through this grief. She faced a tough time emotionally after being betrayed in a relationship. However, she did not lose herself to the sadness. She built herself up.
According to Vanessa, the secret to emotional healing is hidden in understanding grief. Once you do, you can navigate tough times with more clarity and compassion. She shares some insights on grief and how to look at breakups.
- Grief Is Natural:
Vanessa believes, “It's essential to understand that grief is a natural response to loss.” You might feel contrasting emotions building up inside you. Remember that these feelings are normal. Yes, you have lost something but not everything.
- The Grief Expression:
Grief does not express itself in the same way. Everyone goes through it differently. Some may feel intense sadness immediately, while others might experience it later. You might feel like you're making progress and suddenly feel sad again. It's okay; that's how grief works.
- Accepting Your Emotions:
Allow yourself to feel. It's better to acknowledge your feelings and permit yourself to grieve. Let the emotions flow; it's a part of the healing process.
- Seek Support:
Seek support during a breakup. Talk to your friends and family. Get help from a therapist. It assists in processing your emotions better and finding suitable coping mechanisms. You'll also feel less alone.
- Self-Care Matters:
Taking care of yourself is crucial during such emotionally taxing times. Vanessa suggests doing things that make you feel whole, such as: a hobby, exercise, or spending time with loved ones.
- Time Heals:
Time is a powerful healer. Grief doesn't last forever. Your pain will lessen as the clock turns. When it comes to getting over a relationship, that too is not going to take forever, though it might be a while for some people until they are looking back at their online profiles and getting back into the dating game. In any case, it’s something that you can expect to take a while to get through, like any kind of loss.
- Learning and Growing:
Breakups bring opportunities for personal growth. “Every ending is a new beginning,” says Vanessa. “You can learn from the experience and become a resilient person.”
- Closure Is Not Always Necessary:
Many people seek closure after a breakup, but Vanessa notes that it's not always possible or necessary. Sometimes, closure comes from within as you make peace with the situation and move forward.
- No Blame Game:
Avoid playing the blame game. Relationships are complex and it's rarely just one person's fault. Be kind to yourself and try to let go of blame.
- Patience Is Key:
Lastly, Vanessa reminds us to be patient with ourselves. Healing takes time. There is no set timetable for moving on from a breakup. Trust the process and know that you will get through it.
Understanding grief and breakups is essential for your emotional well-being. It is important to acknowledge your feelings, seek support, and practice self-care. Time heals, and with patience, you can emerge from a breakup stronger and wiser, ready to embrace new beginnings.